Modern Love Podcast: With the Help of Strangers

[New York Times subscribers are invited to join the hosts Daniel Jones and Miya Lee on Dec. 15 for an evening of performances and special guests, celebrating the new “Tiny Love Stories” book. RSVP here.]

This episode incorporates descriptions of home violence.

In 2013, Courtney Queeney revealed “The View From the Victim Room,” an essay about surviving home violence and the authorized proceedings that adopted. “I couldn’t sit or lean towards something comfortably as a result of my head was nonetheless a battered, crusty mess,” she wrote.

Within the essay, she described going to a courthouse each two weeks to resume her emergency safety order towards her ex. It was throughout this era that she discovered “scattered brilliant spots” — issues to chuckle about when every little thing appeared unfunny. She discovered consolation within the lady who shared her court docket schedule; her lawyer, whom she revered; and the choose who made her crack up.

At the moment, we hear about how Courtney has labored via the expertise and aftermath of her abuse — and the place is she now.

Courtney’s essay ended together with her strolling “out of court docket into a lot sunshine.” However as she defined to Daniel Jones on this podcast episode, the seven years since her essay was revealed haven’t been straightforward. “I simply wish to get someplace again to no matter my regular was,” she stated.

One of many issues which have helped her is her latest choice to change into a court docket advocate. Reflecting on the many individuals who’ve supported her, from legal professionals to therapists, Courtney stated, “I’ll by no means be capable of adequately thank all of them for what they did for me.”

“I’m a stranger to quite a lot of them,” she continued, “however what I can do is be that particular person to anyone else who wants an individual.”

In her Tiny Love Story, Eliza writes a few lady named Shelly, whom she met in an consuming dysfunction restoration program when she was 11. Eliza was the youngest in this system, whereas Shelly, in her 60s, was the oldest.

Shelly grew to become a protector of kinds for Eliza, encouraging counselors to “tone down their harshness” towards her and making her really feel much less alone. When Miya, a number of the podcast, requested Eliza what she would say to Shelly if she have been to see her once more, she stated, “I don’t suppose I ever stated thanks to her. So I believe I’d say thanks.”

In the event you or somebody you understand is being abused, assist and assist can be found across the clock. Go to the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s website or name 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Hosted by: Daniel Jones and Miya Lee
Produced by: Kelly Prime and Hans Buetow
Edited by: Wendy Dorr
Music by: Dan Powell
Held by String,” written and skim by Eliza Rudalevige
The View From the Victim Room,” narration by Julia Whelan, produced by Ryan Wegner and Kelly Rogers at Audm
Government Producer, NYT Audio: Lisa Tobin
Assistant Managing Editor, NYT: Sam Dolnick

Particular thanks: Nora Keller, Mahima Chablani, Julia Simon, Laura Kim, Bonnie Wertheim, Anya Strzemien, Joanna Nikas and Choire Sicha.

Need extra from Fashionable Love? Watch the TV series and join the newsletter. We even have swag at the NYT Store and two books, “Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Redemption” and “Tiny Love Stories: True Tales of Love in 100 Words or Less.”

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