A detailed pal was supposed to begin her I.V.F. injections on the identical time, however she determined to postpone on the final minute as a result of Covid circumstances have been so excessive in our space. By that time, we have been so pushed in our pursuit of being pregnant that I used to be startled to listen to her say that, because the thought had by no means even crossed my thoughts.
I’ve no means of understanding for positive if I used to be uncovered to the virus someday throughout this final fertility remedy. The surgical middle is on a big medical campus that additionally hosts a Covid-19 testing drive-through within the storage the place we parked. We additionally waited, masks on, for nearly an hour outdoors the constructing, which we thought was a safer selection than the fertility clinic ready room, however that really put us in proximity to plenty of sick folks ready for rides residence.
I additionally needed to take away my masks simply earlier than the precise egg retrieval, as a result of I used to be underneath anesthesia and the medical doctors wanted fast entry to my mouth in case I wanted a respiration tube.
5 days after the egg retrieval, we came upon we have been Covid-positive. I referred to as the clinic instantly to warn them; the fertility physician advised me a number of days later that none of her staffers had gotten sick. And likewise that not one of the eggs they retrieved from me had developed correctly. We had no embryos to make use of.
In fact, as anybody who has achieved fertility remedies is aware of, all the hazards and dangers we undertook would have been “value it” if it had labored. As a result of it didn’t work for us, I felt defeated and silly.
In sum, we wished to present Goldie a sibling, however doing so might have been what threatened her mom’s life. This thought haunts me and can stick with me without end, although I’ll by no means understand how precisely the virus entered our residence.
Our nanny, who additionally skilled Covid signs and examined optimistic three days earlier than us, may have picked it up on the grocery store. We may have gotten it from her, or whereas strolling round our neighborhood or taking part in within the park. However the act of selecting, over and over, to have interaction in fertility remedies because the pandemic raged on, fills me with doubt and regret.